Halloween? Beat it, kid


Yep, I’m the neighborhood witch, or something that rhymes with it. The doorbell just rang and I have no treats for the kids. Intentionally. My porch light was off and so were those on the front of the garage. Hint, hint!

But there at the door (yes, I answered it; must be polite) was some little kid in a costume — I think — and silhouetted behind him or her, a large parent with a very large pointed witch’s hat. Out in the near-dark street, a few more kids and adults were walking by.

I apologized and closed the door, annoyed because I felt like scum. Then I checked to make certain all the outside lights were off. I also turned off the lamp in the front corner of the living room, as well another smaller one, and turned the last one in the room to the dimmest setting. Hrumph.

What happened to everyone going to the mall because the streets are too dangerous and the neighbors are putting pins and needles in the treats? Why is everyone suddenly back trolling the neighborhood?

And, incidentally, what kind of adult takes their kid up to a stranger’s darkened door for treat or treat anyway?

I quit buying treats a while back because nobody was coming by and treats were getting ridiculously expensive, but mostly because I never liked having to answer my door twenty times in the same evening and because I knew perfectly well I’d eat all the planned leftovers.

So here I sit, hiding like a sneak thief in my own darkened living room, annoyed that I’m annoyed.

Boo, humbug.

6 thoughts on “Halloween? Beat it, kid

  1. I was more proactive this year. I gave out rasinettes and dumdum suckers. Word got out that our house wasn’t even worth coming too.
    Of course when the kids old enough to be driving I’m not sure I want to piss them off too much..
    Raisinettes and Dumdums should have been perfectly fine for the spoiled little darlings — unless you were breaking open the Raisinette boxes and handing them out one at a time. Sheesh, what’s the standard in your neighborhood anyway, Godiva chocolates?

  2. Halloween is the most “inane” of all so-called holidays in my opinion. The older I get the less funny death sounds. The meme not only contributes to unhealthy eating and tooth decay, but has now, at least in our corner of the world, resulted in a lost education day for the grandkids. They got out of school at 11:15 a.m. today, for Halloween for God’s sake. What kind of reason is that? And when we picked them up I asked what they learned in morning classes. Answer: “We just “partied”. Sigh. 🙄

    1. My grandkids apparently went to school in costume because there was some sort of assembly and costume parade to start the day. I’m not sure how much was accomplished during the day with everyone in costume, but the line of cars up at the school just now (3 pm) tells me that at least they were there all day.

  3. I’m with you on the ‘ what kind of adult takes their kid up to a stranger’s darkened door for treat or treat anyway?’, WTH????? It’s the rule of Halloween…if no lights on, don’t go a knocking; they either aren’t home, don’t celebrate or well bad things can happen to little kids. I like Halloween, I wouldn’t take a kid to a house where there is no light on, I’ve known that since I was a toddler.

    Hey not everyone likes Halloween and that’s okay. I for one can’t stand Christmas. Not everyone enjoys this time of the year and that’s okay.

    1. It may be fun for the kids and their parents to do the costume and trick-or-treat thing. But like Christmas, the attraction wanes — A LOT — when you’ve been exposed to it for 68 years and counting.

... and that's my two cents