It’s that time of year again. Schools across the country are opening. School zones are firing up their warning lights and polishing up their signs. Police are watching areas they ignored all summer.
I have a “thing” about school zones, quite likely because I’m a mom and a grandmom. If I could shoot out tires, I would. If I could throw spike strips, I would. If I could write speeding tickets, I would. You DO NOT speed through school zones, ever! A fire is not more important than those kids. A baby being born is not more important. Your job is not more important. Saving five minutes for any reason is not more important. And for sure that text message to your BFF is not more important.
I take great delight in going through school zones with my speedometer nailed to the posted limit, if not below. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who seem annoyed by that. Which of course only makes me more determined.
Both my grandkids started school last week (I’ll never get used to school starting before Labor Day), and the younger one was absolutely beside herself to be starting kindergarten. At the same big kids’ school that brother attends.
I guess no one wants to build homes right on a major arterial, so around here that seems to be a favorite location for schools instead. In the case of my grandkids’ school , the arterial is a 4-lane raceway with a 45 mph speed limit. Too fast, in my opinion. I live half a mile away and can hear the drag racing over there every night. The adjoining sidewalks in most places aren’t set back from the curb at all, which means pedestrians (K-6) are walking within 2 or 3 feet of speeding cars, trucks, and buses. A single slip or misstep, momentary loss of balance, a friendly push or tussle …
Yes, there’s a light at the intersection. And a crossing guard. And flashing signs saying 25 mph. (I guess 15 and 20 were deemed too optimistic). But dammit, those are my grandkids! Or yours. Or somebody else’s. Why in heaven’s name would you NOT slow down for a school zone? I don’t care if that school zone suddenly materializes in the middle of your favorite 75-mph interstate; slow down!
Please.
I’ve always thought they should have speed activated metal rods that shoot out from under the roadway to perforate the undersides of those assholes desiring to speed through school zones. But, of course, some of those vehicles will contain children to, so maybe a gun that fires paintballs might be more appropriate. Speed through a school zone, at least everyone will know it.
Ooo, I like the paintball thing. Like dye packs exploding on bank robbers. Mark ’em conspicuously, for all to see. Link the gun to one of those radar signs that records the car’s speed. BAM!!! Gotcha!! Throw in a camera too, that gets the tag number, so nobody skates.
I like how you added that text message thing in there. I get sick of seeing MOMS in their minivans speeding through school zones talking on cellphones. I mean REALLY? It’s not like a school zone is 10 miles long.