Dear S—-,
You recently changed your email address for online banking. We are sending this message to the original email address to notify you that we will no longer contact you at this address. If you have any questions, please contact us at 1-555-555-5555.
Please do not respond directly to this e-mail message. If you have any questions, please contact us at 1-555-555-5555.
Sincerely,
M——- Bank
You know, a lot of times when a person changes his or her email address, it’s because they aren’t going to use the old one anymore … or have access to it anymore … or see anything that gets sent there …
Dialing: 1-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5
Hello, welcome to M Bank customer service, my name is Sylvia what can I do to help you today.
For one, I’d like to know why I’m receiving emails addressed to someone named S—- when my name is Tammy and I’ve never had an account with M Bank. Why are you sending me emails, or sending emails to someone who no longer has this email address? Are you people insane?
I’m sorry Tammy, I’ll have to check with our records department on this, would you please hold… No!
You can sort your problems out on your own time. Unless there’s a reward for bringing this screw up to your attention and you owe me money, why do I have to be involved at all? Is there a reward by the way? I mean with all that stimulus money floating around, surely you guys could spare a toaster oven or maybe a vege-a-matic food chopper at least.
Click
Sorry, just found this stuck in the spam filter. I have no idea why it ended up there unless it just sounded too much like the real McCoy. Maybe you could get a job with the nearest bank’s customer “service” (their word, not mine) department, crafting their form letters and canned responses.
Good grief. The nonsense we put up with!
I’m not so much putting up with it as ignoring it. Or ridiculing it.