Grandma plays Ingress

I was checking out my Ingress Intel map a few days ago and on the COMM I noticed the following remarks:

“Anybody else hanging around?”
“Nope, just an old lady and her dog.”

Just an old lady!? For all they knew, that old lady could have been an L8 enemy agent. Those young geeks playing Ingress had best not assume they are the only agents in town. …

I found an unclaimed portal on the map Thursday, and that was enough to get me out the door for my first real attempt to play the game. I drove nine miles to the portal, in the middle of a veritable farm of Resistance (enemy) portals, and captured it! Tada! Of course, first I had to walk around the area hacking other portals to gather enough resonators to do it. I dropped a full complement of 8 resonators, plus one shield, on that portal and added three resos to a nearby Enlightened portal that needed upgrading.

I know that means nothing to you if you don’t play the game. Basically it means I walked around a community library building four or five times, phone in hand, clicking things on my screen. I was away from home for about three hours altogether and spent at least two of those hours on my feet, walking. Mind you, the most walking I usually do is a weekly stroll around the supermarket.

I got home with my codename plastered all over two green portals at the library, and a blister on each heel — one of them broken and bleeding. War wounds! Medic!

Two hours later, the portals were overrun by the Resistance, but I’d had my Day One triumph. My wounds (blisters, aching hips, fatigue) kept me home the next day.

Yesterday I sallied forth again. It was a gorgeous day, and besides, I realized, summer heat will probably spoil the fun pretty soon. This time I only drove about 5 miles, to a park full of portals from both factions. I walked and hacked, walked and hacked, walked and hacked, and finally left with the two existing Enlightened portals at full strength again, albeit only Level 1. My reward for the day was managing to destroy a resonator belonging to a local L4 Resistance agent. His name seems to be on every blue portal in the area, but he will come to know my name! If only because I keep biting his ankles.

Anklebiter. That should have been my codename. Or maybe Gadfly. Too late now, though. One name change is allowed, but I think I’d lose all the items in my inventory and besides, I’m already 2/3 of the way to Level 2.

Currently I’m nursing more war wounds. Not long after I got home, my big toe started hurting so badly I could barely walk. Don’t know whether it was the joint complaining or just the tendon. Frozen peas applied. Better today. Oh, and the left ankle is swollen a bit, as it was after my first day out. Hopefully these things won’t keep occurring, but there’s only one way to find out.

Meantime, enemy agents in the area had best stop making assumptions about little old ladies.

Better watch your six, sonny …



16 thoughts on “Grandma plays Ingress

    1. LOL. It might even continue to be fun, if I don’t cripple myself first. I don’t expect to be much more than a minor annoyance, since it takes a lot of walking around and a lot of group cooperation to level up. But if I can just annoy the opposition occasionally, that will be fun. My name will show up on the map (however briefly) and the portal owner will get an email notification that they are under attack from moi. 😀

      1. It’s bad enough that half of them assume it’s nothing but a boys club. Women agents have it rough to start with. Keep fighting the good fight; when you get to level 4 or 5, you can be a lot more annoying.

        1. I’m more than half way through L7 now and can be very annoying. I play as a lone wolf, however, so haven’t met any of the other players in the area except family. I’m used to the boys club thing. Been gaming since Everquest.

... and that's my two cents