To be or not to be … alone

8 thoughts on “To be or not to be … alone”

  1. I allow myself the occasional fantasy of how much “better” my life might be if I had a live-in companion – either from the romantic “improvement” of having a lover, or the economic “improvement” of having a roommate paying for that 2nd bedroom I keep closed up to save on heat. Fortunately, the “play that thru” philosophy I’ve picked up along the way comes to my rescue before I do something stupid. Been there. Done that.

    The funny thing is that attitudes like ours would be considered “selfish” by today’s standards, even though none of the self-absorbed young people and egotistical politicians who’d say that could spend a week alone without cracking up!

    1. Also been there, done that, and won’t do it again.

      As for what others think, I keep telling myself that the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind. My family understands me, or at least accepts and loves me regardless. That’s more than a lot of people can say.

  2. Wow. What a topic. I am swept away by your candor and am very moved by it, probably most because I know death in inevitable and can not imagine life without my life’s companion of 51 years. That is my worst nightmare and I can barely imagine it. I don’t even want to try to imagine it. Yet, you Pied are evidence that life is possible living alone, and I thank you for that. I admire your strength, your grit. Good for you.

    Love the image – you have a gift.

    1. Jim, if I’d been happily married for a long time like you have, I’m sure I’d feel as you do. But I lived alone for 15 years after my first marriage and got used to (had to get used to) being alone with just me and my work. It was nice, really, leaving a stressful, hectic day to go home to solitude and tranquility. And It was very satisfying to make it on my own. My second marriage was brief for a lot of reasons, but a big one was both of us being so set in our ways after many years as singles. Whether your senior years have been mostly as a single or as a married person, change is sure to be difficult. I’m not being strong or brave. Staying single is easy; it’s the coward’s way to live after too many bad encounters.

      1. You are clearly a strong, intelligent and resourceful person, PT, and I admire your grit. Your reasoning is good and it gives me reason to be very thankful for my good fortune. Looking back I realize that finding the right mate is not a scientific problem to be solved, but largely a matter of pure luck. You’re not cowardly at all, just realistic about the odds and realities.

... and that's my two cents