According to the NY Daily News, Kermit Elementary suspended 9-year-old Aiden Steward for threatening to make a classmate disappear with his magical ring forged in Middle Earth’s Mount Doom. Yep. That’s all. Pretending with a pretend magical ring. No finger gun. No “pew pew.” Just a magical ring inspired by the Steward family’s recent viewing of “The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies.”
Principal Roxanne Greer reportedly said threats to another child’s safety would not be tolerated – whether magical or not. She declined to comment on Aiden’s suspension, citing confidentiality policies. I wonder what she told Aiden. That imagination isn’t allowed in school? I’m not sure how education is supposed to work without stimulating imagination. And what must Aiden be thinking now? That educators don’t know “magic” rings are actually just make believe? Or maybe that they’re stupid enough to believe pretend magic poses a real threat?
Oh, but it gets worse. This is the third time this year Aiden has been suspended. The other two times were “in-school” suspensions, whatever that is. The first time was for “referring to a classmate as black” (Daily News). The Odessa American reported it as “referring to another student’s skin color.” Guess we’ll just have to imagine … er, guess what actually happened.
The second offense was really egregious. Aiden took his favorite book — The Big Book of Knowledge — to school. But the teacher discovered the book had a section on pregnancy. And it included a picture of a pregnant woman. Horrors! (See accompanying photo. Methinks Aiden already knew what a pregnant woman looks like.)
I hope the “educators” at that school kept Aiden’s book. They need it more than he does.